The Pigeon Has Slain the Roosters
by xiaotsubasa
Summary: In which Haruhi smirks at the size of Hikaru and Kaoru's manhood and leave Ouran Academy in an uproar.


They were the twins; pranks were their thing. If they didn't do one regularly, then that would be when something wrong was going on. Either that or they were plotting a master scheme. This was what they were doing now. They, being competitive people, also had to try the greatest prank ever eventually: Flashing someone in the nude.  
It was crude, obscene and just how they liked it. Pranks like this one, you could never predict a person's reaction. Haruhi, who was always full of surprises, would be the most unpredictable variable yet. Plus they liked toying around with her and how she would react was too great a thing to miss. Which is why they spent months planning how to pull it off. Little did they know, the outcome would be far greater than they imagined.

It would be a pleasant afternoon, a bit before the host club opened for the day, when they decided to launch their prank. Haruhi had her bag stolen by the twins earlier and they had told her to come get them if she wanted it back. She was uneasy about what the Twins were thinking, but her books were in there and she needed them for a test tomorrow. It had taken her much asking around before she finally figured out that they were hiding in a smaller room connected to the main Music Room 3. Relieved that her search was over, she rushed on over there as fast as she could. Hikaru and Kaoru could really be annoying sometimes.  
With a sigh, she opened the door and stepped inside. It was an unused room, and Haruhi hadn't even known it was there. The lights were off, and she wondered just how big this place was as she peered into the gloom. Luckily, her bag was just outside the door. She bent down to pick it up and as she was straightening up, she saw something that she really didn't need to.

"Surprise!" shouted the twins, both with cheesy grins as they jumped in front of her. Bare as the day they were born. She had no doubt that the twins planned this to the exact moment. Haruhi was, unfortunately, at the exact level where she was given the best viewing. There was a moment of suspenseful silence as Haruhi closed her eyes and straightened up all the way. Hikaru and Kaoru gave each other an uneasy look as the embarrassment of being naked started to seep in.

"Well, that was a disappointment." She smirked and quietly turned around and stepped out. The twins were stunned and left in utter silence.

Hiding by the windows, a pair of binoculars quickly shifted out of sight, revealing an excited Renge. She grabbed her walky-talky and crowed into the speaker,  
"The pigeon has slain the roosters! I repeat, the pigeon has slain the roosters!" and within minutes, the phrase was all over Ouran Academy.

The next day was chaotic. Teachers could not quiet down their students and even in the teacher's lounge, it was whispered like a secret. It was the key rumor that buzzed from mouth to mouth. Every single student had heard of it, but only the fangirl customers of the Host Club knew what it truly meant.  
When the host club had opened for the day, the twins were bombarded with giggles and multiple looks. But they were too far gone to notice anyways. Their eyes were blank and their brains, blanker.

Kyouya was unusually happy over the situation. The new wave of customers meant more profit, and more profit obviously meant a happy Kyouya. He wondered why he had never thought of doing this before. The scandal did lower the reputation of Hikaru and Kaoru a bit, but it was nothing an extra session of 'twincest' couldn't cure.

Tamaki had absolutely no idea what the phrase meant, but from the glint in all the girls' eyes, he wisely decided he was better off not knowing. As long as his daughter's innocence was spared from the corruption he was happy. Haruhi certainly didn't look like the news had violated her so he made it his mission to shush whoever said the phrase when she was around. Although, he was mightily confused when his shushing only roused more giggles at the very end. Mommy didn't bother explaining anything to him either.

Hunny chuckled and made sure to offer Hika-chan and Kao-chan lots and lots of cake. They certainly seemed to need it, after all. Who wouldn't be in such a state after- Oops. Some of the girls gave out small gasps as Hunny revealed what he knew, but their suspicions were sorely squashed as he said something completely different to cancel it out. Why would the cute and adorable Hunny-chan know such a thing anyways? They went back to squeezing over his innocence as he gave the twins a big hug and cake.

"Don't be so down, Hika-chan, Kao-chan! It's not like you have control over how your body grows~" he chirped.  
Some fangirls still question his words to this day.

Mori continued on like nothing happened. That is to say, his face held no response. But whenever the phrase was brought up, Mori Fangirls were blown back by the handful of rare smiles he showed. Many girls fainted dead on the spot. More swarmed in to see the emotionless Mori smile. Which meant the Host Club had a rush of new customers come in. (Has it been mentioned yet that Kyouya was very, _very, _happy that day?)

The twins were left in a catatonic state for the rest of the week. The shock of their size being noted as… a disappointment, was far too much. If you were close enough, you might even see the smoke sizzling out of their ears.

As for Haruhi, when questioned about it, she only gave a gentle smile, tilted her head and said,

"I have _no_ idea what you're talking about."


End file.
